its me again! yes im still free of the freak! infact i have moved on! slowly but yes i have ANOTHER FELLA! i thought i should write in and let you know there is hope. i got my flat 1 i even saved £5000, admittedly i used a chunk of it getting into a new home for me and the boys as my credit was awful thanks to the freak abusing it for 12 years. but it has got so much easier! I have a very casual relationship with a new man. It has to be casual. I'm not ready for anything else, but I do have very strong feelings for him, I'm scared to call it love. you all will know what I mean. He has had to be very patient with me. The first time we had words, shall we say, well I freaked right out! Fell on the floor cried and fled. Yes, I fled at 4 in the morning. I walked (well ran) home over a mile along a haulage road in the pitch dark. I felt safer than in a flat with a chap who, if he wanted to could crush my skull with his bear hands. I was terrified and along that road I thought right sod this! sod men I'm staying single they are all (well I'm sure you know the ending) but for some reason I felt compelled to let him know I had got home safe. The next day he came round. He told me in very straight terms ... I will never ever lay a finger on you. and so far 7 months on he hasn't and I believe he never will. I don't know if my scars will ever heal but I have learnt from them and still am learning from them. I may have been weak once, but not any more!! right now I rent my own home, it's lovely! I work part time as a mobile hairdresser (something I was never allowed to do before) my ex (the freak) has supervised access to see the children but in the year and 2 months since I left he has given me £100. So, I raise the boys single-handedly! This month I am going to start my driving lessons (arrgghh) and my new man has said he will buy me a car. I don't know if secretly I want to get one of my own back, but something deep inside wants to let this man into my life. It's going to be a long process I know, but I've wasted enough time. I will be 34 this year, and I left because I wanted a life! And everyone I am the proof! there really is a life out here. I wake up every morning happy! To walking on eggshells, no crying, no thinking things and never saying them out loud, no more rubbish. believe me when i say it! I LOVE MY LIFE!!!! COME JOIN ME!!! BE FREE!!! xxx
Aug 21, 2012
its scary! but it gets better. by: charlotte (the person who wrote this blog)
I am sad to hear that my story isn't unique, but hey look at all the stories on here, so awful. I am glad you want to be like me it is hard being so strong and to be honest very scary, but it has got easier with time. Now I do what I want when I want and I like it. I hope you too find the strength because no matter how many chances you give, they will throw it back into your face. They never change!
Aug 19, 2012
Thank You! by: Anonymous
Your story mirrors mine, except I have only been suffering for three years! I admire your courage and strength. I pray that you stay strong and stay out! I want to be just like you as far as leaving goes!