Domestic Violence Stalking

Domestic violence stalking is a long term reality for many victims. Are you being followed, monitored, or watched? This is an issue that you should take very seriously for the next several years. You are not safe just because you leave a domestic violence situation. Once you leave your abuser, your safety depends on you protecting yourself and your children.

Stalking Definition:

A pattern of repeated and unwanted attention, contact, harassment, or any other action directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear.

Acts of stalking can include:

*Repeated, unwanted, intrusive, and frightening communications from the abuser by phone, mail, and/or email
*Repeatedly leaving or sending victim unwanted items, presents, or flowers
*Following or laying in wait for the victim at places such as home, school, work, or recreation place
*Making direct or indirect threats to harm the victim, the victim's children, relatives, friends, or pets.
*Damaging or threatening to damage the victim's property
*Harassing victim through the internet
*Posting information or spreading rumors about the victim on the internet, in a public place, or by word of mouth
*Obtaining personal information about the victim by accessing public records, using internet search services, hiring private investigators, going through the victim's garbage, following the victim, contacting victim's friends, family, work, or neighbors

Tips for Victims of Stalking:

Make sure your cell phone does not have a tracking/locator feature that your abuser can monitor. If it can be monitored, turn it off, try to cancel the feature/plan if it is in your name, or leave it with a relative for safe keeping. You can get an inexpensive prepay cell phone at an electronic store, or have someone get one for you that will be safe to use in an emergency.

If your abuser has a cell phone with google applications on it, they can use an application called, "google latitude" and your cell phone number to find your location. Do not give your abuser your cell phone number if you suspect you are being stalked. Your children's cell phone numbers can also be used to locate you and your children!

Verify that your vehicle does not have a tracking/monitoring/locator system in it that your abuser can access by computer, or through the monitoring company. If it can be monitored, leave your vehicle with a relative. Find a safe vehicle to borrow until you can get the monitoring device turned off.

Domestic violence stalking can happen within your home. Make sure your home security cameras cannot be accessed remotely by your abuser. If they can be accessed, turn off the cameras, or cover the lens until you can change the access for your security.

If you have a facebook, twitter, myspace... account, be very vague in what you post. Do not mention where you are going, who you spend time with, what you have been doing. Also check to make sure that your security options are activated. You do not want to give your abuser access to your information.

Facebook has recently launched, "Facebook Places". This is a global positioning application. To disable this application, go to: Account, Account Settings, Notifications, Places, Make sure both boxes are not checked, and save your settings.

Domestic violence stalking can take on many forms. Just because you don't see your abuser's vehicle behind you doesn't mean that you aren't being watched.

Pay attention to who is behind you. Your abuser doesn't have to use their vehicle to follow you. Don't look for one specific vehicle. Your abuser may have their friends, "follow you for your protection" and quiz them later. Rental cars are also used for domestic violence stalking. Pay attention to what vehicle is following you.

If you feel you are being followed, drive straight to the police station and report the vehicle. You will need the type of vehicle, a good description, color, and license plate number if possible.

As you arrive home, and as you leave, pay attention to anyone that is parked near by, or hanging around that isn't usually in your neighborhood.

In the evening after you turn off all of your lights, move the drapes, or blinds slightly to see if anyone is watching your house. Often abusers want their victims to know they are being watched, as a way to keep control. If your house is being watched, call the police. Put all of your police reports into your paper trail of abuse folder.

Domestic violence stalking, like being in your domestic violence situation is very scary and serious. If you are being stalked, be careful who you talk to in public and where you go. Do not take a chance at putting your life, or the lives of others in danger.

Keep your car in the garage if possible. Lock your car when you leave it... and take the garage door opener with you at all times.

Go to surviving-domestic-violence.org from domestic violence stalking