I am married for 37 years. I am and have been mentally and physically abused for my entire marriage. My husband can be very loving and caring - but in an instant his mood can change and he starts pushing, shoving, and choking me. He calls me names constantly, breaks things; sometimes he breaks things that are very special to me. I don't know why I've stayed. when I was younger and he threatened me with divorce I would cry and say things like "I will change". Now I'm numb to that. I have no feelings about if he left. I feel so empty. anything that goes wrong is my fault. He says I have no idea how hard he works. I have a full time job, and also do all of our paperwork for our business. People like him and think he is so funny and just the best. He has punched holes in the walls of our home, smashed lamps and dishes, smashed the television. I don't know why I'm writing all of this really. It's my own fault for not leaving. I should go to a psychiatrist maybe just to get things off my chest. one night he poured my drink over my head calling me an alcoholic. I don't drink during the day, but we both have cocktails with dinner. His family has no idea that he does these things. I just try to keep the peace and hope that tomorrow will be better. sometimes weeks can go by without any incident, and then again something will trigger his psychosis and the devil rears its ugly head.
Sep 26, 2014
Freedom by: Kelly Jo
A child really needs a strong parent. Not to have to watch or hear the abuse. My oldest son had to watch and listen to the violent abuse for 3 yrs until I got tired of it. We have been safe for almost 4 yrs now. It took him slamming my oldest son and hiding behind the baby for me to finally leave. This man was so cruel he killed one of my dogs. There is hope. There is a life away from abuse. I didn't believe it. I am a survivor. My children, dogs, and myself are finally safe. The main thing to remember is once you get out don't look back. Keep pushing forward no matter what. No matter how many times the abuser calls to apologize and says come home. Don't look back, just keep moving forward and away from the abuse. It's never easy. But it can be done.
Sep 01, 2014
Get out of there by: Anonymous
Get out of there! I am out . With little kids,I am at my parents house. God help you. It is not going to change ,it will only get worse I have suffered for 17 years.
Jul 16, 2014
....because you have too much Respect for yourself. by: Anonymous
If you don't want a divorce just yet, try separating from him. Living apart. For the sake of the kids. One person has to be the grown up. If you don't feel safe, you're children don't feel safe. Your primary job is to protect your children. If you don't, Child Protective Services will one day get involved and take your kids. Get some courage and if you can't do it for yourself...do it for your kids. They didn't ask for this. The moment your husband hits you or disrespects you...he's already lost interest in you and he needs help. This behavior is NOT normal. My husband and I divorced 3 years ago I was also a victim of domestic violence but not anymore. I didn't know that life could be better without him. Yes, I still care for my abuser but I could NEVER go back to hell. I am now dating a wonderful man that respects me and treats me like a queen. You can do it. You will be so much happier. You tried. Good luck.
Feb 02, 2014
Get out now by: Anonymous
You need to get you and your kids out of that house and find a domestic violence shelter. Forget about items, rings, clothes, shoes, and up. None of that matters. You are strong. Get out. leave right now, don't wait for any thing. Because if you wait to long you may have nothing more to lose.
Feb 02, 2014
Get out now by: Anonymous
You need to get you and your kids out of that house and find a Domestic Violence shelter. Forget about items, rings, clothes, shoes, and make up. None of that matters. You are strong. Get out. leave. Right now, don't wait for any thing. Because if you wait to long you may have nothing more to lose.
Feb 02, 2014
Get out now by: Anonymous
You need to get you and your kids out of that house and find a domestic violence shelter. Forget about items, rings, clothes, shoes, and make up. None of that matters. You are strong. Get out. Leave right now, don't wait for any thing. Because if you wait to long, you may have nothing more to lose.
Dec 05, 2013
Meth by: Anonymous
It sounds exactly like he is doing meth. No sleep, hearing voices. You are worried about your sons not having a father. Girl, they do not have a father now. Get out, before they are irreparably damaged. It is not worth the anguish to hang on to someone who abuses not only themselves with drugs but abuses you and the children. Children need happiness in their life, and believe me, they feel the stress. They might be small but they know what is going on. If you truly love your children you will get out now. House, business, material things are not worth it. Get some help, as it will only get worse.
Nov 12, 2013
Leave Carefully by: Mary
My abuser was on drugs and would be up days at a time, and it made him worse and he was already worse than worse.
Like someone else said, please stop the cycle, for your children.
Start making a plan, birth papers, ss cards, licenses, your school transcripts, last utilities paid, and keep a journal...journal every injury. I bought a tiny tape recorder and recorded verbal abuse, carefully. do you have a friend you could stay with? What about a restraining order or an order of protection? Are you ready to leave? If not, may I please ask why? What are you afraid of, cause the Lord knows, we were all scared. Contact me here, if you need someone to speak to. Okay?
God Bless and my Prayers are sent your way.
Oh, can you speak to an instructor at school? A minister?
Mary
Nov 04, 2013
No father is better than an abusive one by: Anonymous
No father is better than an abusive father and that includes a father who abuses the mother of his children. When he abuses you, he is abusing them. God is their father and He will provide and protect you and them when you leave.
I remember when a friend told me I was sleeping with a demon and she was right. The Bible says to separate from Evil and return not to the yoke of bondage (Galatians). The abusive spouse has already severed the marital covenant; he has already divorced you in every way possible.
Praying for you.
Oct 11, 2013
been there done that by: Anonymous
i dealt with physical abuse for over 10 yrs. i would leave and come back. i thought i was in love. i had to have a hysterectomy at 16 due to the abuse. 43 yrs later and 3 husbands i still live with this night mare, i will never forget it . there is so much more i can't say for still crying.
Jul 18, 2013
I hope you find courage by: Anonymous
Your husband sounds like he is suffering from a mental illness or is addicted to something. Clearly you are unsafe. I left my husband after 23 years. One piece if advice my doctor gave me before leaving was to ensure that I 'resole my shoes' - in other words, be strategic in how I leave. Make a plan. Be prepared. Cover all contingencies.
The experiences you describe are not unfamiliar to me. I would advise seeking professional counselling & accessing support services before you leave, if you decide to do that. They don't change. Nothing you do will make things change. I wish you well.
Jul 03, 2013
GET OUT NOW! by: Anonymous
I know exactly what you are going through as I endured the same for 9 years. Verbal, mental, physical, psychological, sexual and financial abuse. The sign to leave is NOW! The abuse only escalates over time and especially if drugs are involved he is dylusional. Look at it this way.....do you want your children to have a mother or would you rather have them grow up learning their father's behavior. That is your choice. The longer you expose your children to the continual violence, the more likely the cycle is to continue.