My Nightmare.

by Unknown
(Glendale, az)

My story was nothing compared to all the other stories, I thought, as I had spent some time reading them these past few months. Than I noticed that one story was a lot like mine, than there were a few that were very much like mine. So here I am wanting to scream at the top of my lungs, "you're not going to hurt me anymore!" My nightmare has been nothing short of scary, being locked in a room for 8 months, being so scared, or thrown so hard I wet myself three different times. Having to strip down naked while he watched and then toilet water splashed in my mouth, only for him to realized I didnt have what he wanted, he threw me out the door.

In the two years we have been together I have been to the hospital twice (needed to go atleast 6 times, but didn't), have had my wrist broken, all the ligaments in both thumbs torn, the ones in my wrist torn, been burned, thrown off our bed when it was pitch black, held down with mouth and nose covered, drug down the hallway by my throat, kidnapped three times, thrown out in the hallway naked (he called his brothers to come look at me), thrown across the room more times than I can count, been body slammed on the ground, drug back to his house almost every day, grabbed by the throat and forced to walk home, forced to do sexual things I didnt want to do, kicked in the back (where my spine is fused), strangled, raped, and had a gun held to my head. There is more, there always is.

The verbal abuse and name calling have taken its tole on me the most. Yes, I have scars and my hands don't work right, my right hand and wrist hurt everyday. Before this man, I would have said verbal is way worse than physical abuse. I'm not so sure anymore.

I don't even know who I am anymore. I watch the cameras all day looking for him. I look over my shoulder whenever I go anywhere. I flinch when people get close to me. I can't talk to people anymore. I basically spend my life scared and running from him. Yet I always end up there, it's sick and I don't know why I do it. I hate him, but I go back. Its getting better though, staying away isnt as painful. He tells me that I'll never get away from him, that he will kill me. Sometimes I wish he would, I think it would be easier...