Dont feel alone

by kathy smith
(waterville,maine)

I am a domestic survior,My story started at the very young age of 15.My mother let me marry that creep because i was pregnant.If only i had known,but it started from there on.No matter if he was drinking or not i still got hit.I guess i should have told you that he was 11 years older then me.But he would hit me all over my body where clothes could hide the bruise's.By the time i was 17 i had two kids by him a son and a daughter.I really wish i could share a whole lot more but you see my problem is that i was abused so much that i blocked out 90% of my marriage to him and maybe thats a good thing.I was in it for 6 very long years and i never told my family so when they all moved to virgina at one point i never felt more alone and scared in my entire life.I didnt know if he would make a move and kill me,at times when i got the beatings i really thought he would,he always told me he would if i ever left him.I got a job working with him of course at a fish plant so he could watch me.One day i was sitting at a bench waiting for work to begin this guy walked in to get a job,i did a double take when i saw him.I kept flirting with this guy and finally i got up the courage and started cheating on my husband with this guy.I never felt so much courage in my life by doing this and at the same time i was scared to death that he would catch us.Time went on and because of this other guy who by the way hated him for hitting me because he didnt believe in that,but because of him i finally left my husband,yay...This was about 24 years ago and i did fall very much in love with that guy that gave me that strength,oh yea the other part was i got pregnant by that guy,I guess i should stop calling him that other guy and call him what he is to this day and that is....My Husband,my love of my life....