Careful what you wish for.......

by Roxy
(Berkshire)

I was 20 when i first met my partner. I had a 10 month old son and as a single mother longed for a partner and loving father figure for the two of us. I had a twin sister who lived nearby with her partner. I was always round their place with my little boy. My twins partner had a cousin who one day came round. I had never met him before and didn't particularly pay attention to him until he commented how lovely my little boy was then we got into conversation. After that he seemed to be round my sisters all the time and we struck up a close friendship. I had a little job in my aunts pub and one night went round to drop my son off for my sister to babysit. He as usual was there and asked if he could come to work with me, i said yes and from that night he never left my side.

At first i admit i was flattered and really enjoyed having him around i was in love before i knew it! One night he had his friends round for a meal and we all got pretty drunk he had been in a funny mood all night and went up to bed. Five minutes later he was shouting for me to come up. I said no as i was having a good time that's when he ran downstairs and ripped me up by my throat. The rest of that night is a blur but i remember thinking why none of his friends stopped him. Believe it or not i am actually quite a fiery person, but for some reason i was instantly frightened of this man. Maybe looking back it was fear of losing him and being on my own again.

I had lost a lot of weight before i met him and felt the best i ever had. Yet all he did was put me down daily and in the end i just gave up. I never went out, i ended up not speaking to any of my family, put on loads of weight, and relied solely on him for company, love, friendship, and money. He had done a good job on me. I ended up staying with him for another five years having a beautiful baby boy. After about twenty hospital visits, atleast ten break ups, and every day abuse i finally left.

It's been two months now. My mum got me a place to stay and one day i just got up got my two boys and left. I did have a silly moment when i started meeting him again and believing all his lies of being sorry and a changed man until after one of our meetings. He asked to come back to my new place. I said no as i didn't trust him enough to know where we were living yet and he went mad! He started screaming at me and calling me horrible names. He tried stealing my bag off of me, something he always used to do. I just couldn't believe it!

I left there and then changed my phone number. I just hope he will leave us alone. I really, really loved this boy and never ever wanted to end it. I still wake up in the middle of the night pining for him, but i know i have to do this for me and my boys. I cry all the time, but i have to do this and i will. I just hope someone reads this and i give them the strength to do the same. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. I dont think i will love anyone as i do him but now i'd rather just be on my own. In the years to come what will be will be!