I don't think your brain has accepted that you have left. I was with my partner for 12 years and every time I left before I too pined for him. Something has changed now though I don't pine anymore, this time is different. Think about how he treats you, not the good times. Think about the bad times! Don't minimize what he has done to you. Write down what he has done and actually take it in! Normal people don't do that to someone they love. He dosen't know how to love you. He never will. When you accept that, when it goes in you will want to leave. It will hurt but only for what could have been!! I totally understand where you are coming from. x
Jan 07, 2012
Missing the abuser by: viv
I am relitevely new in ending from an abusive relationship, I understand what you are feeling when you say that you pine for him. I pined for my abuser to and did the same things you did, taking him back, only for it to get very bad. I then actually realized that i was not pining for him, i was pining for the life i had with him becuase i got so used to his treatment that sometimes you mistake it for love because in my case, he never showed me true love so i belived this was his way. (if it makes sense)
There are many ways you can help yourself to get over these feelings, for me it was communicating with people that i have trouble with, i want to go to these groups, but because i have been isolated for so long i struggle to do things for myself. I have started with books, as i want to understand the dynamics of abuse i suffered, i want to find me and rebuild my boundaries, so i can hopefully allow people in to my life again, and im not talking about another romantic relationship, i mean just friends.
i hate these words - hang on in there - thats what people tell me. and everyday i try a little harder than the day before. small steps