THE FINAL SLAP!!!

by Maria

I had never seen a man so handsome and so friendly until I met him. I loved his sympathy and innocence. His charisma and fragility screamed and sought my protection. His vulnerability frightened me but I was attracted. It felt like I was meant to take care of him after so much damage that a woman had done. In my arms, he would never again suffer.

He told me his story and how this woman had made him suffer. She left him taking their daughters and not even let him talk to them. Without realizing I already hated that woman. I thought of her as a woman without feelings and treacherous.

Shortly after, I had already become a sort of mother to him. He was my everything, my husband, my only friend my counselor, my support ... my world. I lived for him. I did not want to do anything to hurt him or harm him. I wanted to be better than this woman who had abandoned him. At that moment I was so in love I couldn't realize the red flags that would tell me "DANGER!!" I was completely in-love.

It was a matter of a short time before we were already living together.

The subtle mind games became direct insults. It was, you are fat, who would want to be with you, you are an illegal, wet back, I can send to Mexico at any time. And the first beating ... I do not even remember why it started, but I do remember that he took my phone so that I wouldn't be able to call for help. It was so bad that time that I had to get out throught the window of the apartment to run to the neighbor and use his phone. When police arrived they took him out of the apartment. He started calling me saying "YOU KNOW I DO NOT HAVE ANYONE, I HAVE NO WHERE TO GO, I LOVE YOU ... Promises to never do it again.

Some time after he lost his job and the problems and beatings became constant. Calls to other women, the lies, deceptions, insults were getting worse. One excuse after excuse, promise after promise. "I had never felt this way for any woman," "I had never felt so jealous for someone" "I had never beaten a woman" these and other phrases were heard repeatedly. Somehow made ​​me feel responsible for his behavior. Because if this had not happened in any of his previous relationships then that meant, in my mind, it was me who caused this situation. It made me feel bad and every day I tried to please him but I always failed.

The last and decisive ..... Many times we had invited friends in common to go to different places. We never went because he hates crowded places.One day he was invited to a farewell of a guy where he worked and he said he wanted to go but this meeting was "Only guys" and their wives were not going. I accepted although I felt very bad because he never wanted to go with me in spite of multiple invitations from our friends. Just before he left me I could not stand it and told him how I felt. All night while he was there we argued via text. He said that he no longer wanted to be with me and already had a place to move out so I told him to leave the house. He came back around 3 am and I was packing his things. I was very angry about everything he had said. He said he would leave but only after washing his clothes (really? wash his clothes at 3 am??) but when I said no he started pushing me. I asked him to stop but when I told him, he mocked me and laughed at me because he said that I did not know how to defend myself. He grabbed me by the neck and while I was trying to release myself I, somehow, hit him with the back of my head. He let go and when I turned to see him as he was looking at me furiously, his glasses had fallen and he told me that he could not believe what I had done, he said I had broken his nose. As I saw how angry he was my first reaction was to want to run for my phone. He took me by the throat again and threw me to the floor. There I felt with no air and my vision blurred. I knew he was going to continue hitting me. In my mind, I was praying. Actually I was asking forgiveness for all I had done wrong and at that moment I thought I was going to die. I could not move, he was on me, beating me. I don't know why he stopped but after a moment I dragged myself and got the phone but could not speak. He was behind me and grabbed the phone and hung up.He took his things and left. I stayed lying there thanking God because I could not believe that this time he had stopped, I knew it was God's hand. When I recovered I stayed there crying and swearing to myself that this would be the last time. He came back of course.

It was the last beating but not the last slap. After I prayed and prayed to God for a signal, that signal came. One day after a retreat, when I got home he asked for the divorce. HOW COULD HE ASK ME FOR THE DIVORCE? AFTER EVERYTHING I PUT UP WITH? AFTER EVERYTHING I DID FOR HIM? REALLY? to me it felt as a slap. A cold and ugly slap. But then I realized. It was God. He gave me the answer I was looking for so long.