Yes, everything surely does happen for a reason. I mean, I'm sure you did not appreicate the way you were being treated, but you seem to be such a strong woman for surviving such an insane, abusive relationship. I commend you for doing what you had to do to get away from the situation.
I believe that you can be an advocate for women who has trouble existing unhealthy relationships.
I think you would appreciate the content of my (ebook) novel. It's called, The Cycle of Resentment. For many of my readers, they've described my novel as a *revelation*. It has so far changed lives. (even for those whom have never even experienced the harsh world of Domestic violence and abuse). please visit me at Amazon/Kindle. Ebook now on sale for only $1.99.
Mesha Barton
Sep 29, 2012
You Are Welcome by: Pam
Dear Amelia,
It is my pleasure to walk with you. I am sure in your future you will walk with victims that need you. You have been through a horrible situation, but your experience and understanding will be a much needed gift in the lives of those you touch.
I think that all victims deal with the feelings of guilt, or that they are at fault. When in truth, abusers choose/hand pick their victims so that they can manipulate and control them. Remember, domestic violence is about power and control. Your abuser manipulated situations and conversations to achieve the results he wanted.
When people are in love, they take things at face value and don’t look at motives. Now with your history, you will look at people and relationships differently, and from a healthier perspective. You will find that you can trust yourself and read people in a way you never had before. Welcome to your new, healthy, confident life. Give yourself freedom and time to grow into it. Life is a gift meant to be enjoyed. Wishing you a very happy, healthy life!!!
Sep 26, 2012
Response to Pam by: Amelia
Thank you, Pam! I do journal, and have been since this whole things began. It does give me a release, and I am looking forward to having the journey documented. Perhaps even help someone else one day with it. Anyways, thank you for your support. I am continuing my journey in trying to find my footing, regain balance, regain self-worth, and essentially remembering that I survived and I have the freedom to live again. One of the biggest challenges I have discovered thus far is actually permitting myself to feel. For the last two years I slowly let myself become a shell, plastic in a sense, in attempt to survive my surroundings. So now, with the help of a counselor, I have come to realize that what happened to me was not okay, and it is okay that I am still damaged from it. I didn't realize how much I had rationalized and normalized (i.e. he hit me, but only split my lip so it wasn't that bad...). I am getting there, it’s just a process. I know that may sound absolutely bizarre, but I had no clue until it got so life threatening and volatile that there was something wrong. How do I cope with feeling like it was my fault in a sense for not seeing what was happening, and stopping it then? All of these things swirl through me all the time and I have no clue what to do with them.
Sep 14, 2012
Thank You! by: Pam
Thank You! It takes courage to share your personal story and the intimate details.
Unfortunately, most times people don't realize they are being stalked, or what stalking really is and means. Many victims mistake stalking as a show of love, when it is really only about power and control.
I hear you!! Your world is now very different, without a past to share, and your senses are super acute. I haven’t been in your exact shoes, but here are some things that I have found helpful. Do you journal? I wrote daily letters to God. It’s one way to express what you are feeling inside when you can’t talk about your past, get it out of your system, and look to the future. It is important to look forward!! Focus on yourself and listen to how you are feeling. You need to take care of yourself and make healthy choices as you acclimate to your new surroundings. I found small grocery stores more comfortable than the super stores. There is no rush as you set up your new life. You have time to make friends and you have time to think of answers before people ask questions.
You can be vague in your answers, but honest in a vague way. What brings you to Seattle? The rain and friendly people, and I’m ready to see a different area. Where are you from? Pick a city from an airport you stopped off in, or a town you drove through. Everyone must come from some where.(Then, ask a question to change the subject and get them talking) Where do you recommend I go for dry cleaning? It is okay to be in control of your conversations. Most people are happy to talk about themselves, give information, and share advice. As soon as you say you’re not allowed to talk about something, or you’re not comfortable talking about something, people will want to know more of what you don’t want to talk about.
So, I recommend journaling, take care of yourself, and go slow… you can do this! You have a support group here, please keep in touch.