SURVIVING A VIOLENT FRIEND

My story isn't typical. I moved in with a very good friend who soon became my best friend and then eventually a dependent. He didn't hit me at first, just started with verbal assaults and tons of sarcasm. His verbal assaults were mainly when he was drunk and that's how I accepted the behavior for a long time. Blame it on the alcohol.

Then came the days we lived together and he quit working. I took care of everything financially. We were never romantically involved but operated much like a married couple. His some nights of drinking turned into every night drinking and then started using drugs more often. We moved another friend in and that's when the hell broke lose. He punched me in the nose. He went to jail. The friend and I moved out.

He conned me into bailing him out and although we never lived together after. I still went back to the apartment and continued a friendship with him as he had me convinced he would never do it again. It was the alcohol and his jealousy that took over because he loved me so much. I fell for the bs and continued a friendship with him for 2 years. I felt it was okay and safe as he moved out of state but the verbal and emotional abuse only got worse.

He continued to ask for money and do all he could to keep me wrapped around his finger. I know I allowed all this but when you love someone so broken you feel like if you walk away it will be the end of that person and that's how I felt. Every time I tried to walk away from our friendship he would try to hurt himself or do something stupid and go to jail for short periods. The emotional connection we had was strong and it took me a long time to break it. He never learned to respect me and continued to manipulate the best he could.

I finally cut him off and he still tries to get into contact with me but I have to take care of me. Getting educated and having a loving support system is key. The physical abuse didn't go on for years (although there were other physical assaults) but the damage is there. The emotional connection to the abuser is the hard part. You HATE all the abuser does to you but love them at their core. Healing is a process. Its like peeling an onion. You have to peel back the layers to heal. I believe the full healing will come in time.