It happens to us too.
by Rachel
(Kentucky )
There are many myths about domestic violence and who it happens to. One myth is that it only occurs to older women of lower education. Well, I am a senior at a college campus and this year I gained the courage to leave my ex-boyfriend who was a domestic violence offender. Needless to say this was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. Not only did he isolate me from my friends and family, but he also made me believe that I could not move on after him. I believed that in some weird and twisted way I deserved the abuse I was receiving. I was terrified to leave not only because I was in fear of my safety but because I believed him and thought that there would never be a man who would love me again.
At first I just wanted to be single but then the stalking started occurring. I again mustered up the strength within myself to file for an Emergency Protective Order which was granted and became a Domestic Violence Order. My ex is not allowed to contact me or come within 500 feet of me for 3 years. After having this order for less than a week he violated it coming into the same establishment as I after knowing I was there. He also violated the order another time about a month later. He is now facing up to 6 years in jail. With the help of family, friends, sorority sisters, loved ones, and a local domestic violence shelter I have been able to use the legal system to protect myself. I will not lead anyone on to say that this process was easy or not stressful because it was literally the hardest thing emotionally I have ever had to
do. I will say that the amount of pride and self-gratitude I have gained cannot even begin to measure the negative emotions I had during the process. Although the court dates and counseling appointments are not over I am more than proud to say I have done what was best for me and my safety and there is not a single person on this planet that can or ever will take that away from me. I am also proud to say that I now am in a healthy relationship with a wonderful man who loves me unconditionally.
My advice for anyone who is experiencing domestic violence is that there is a way out. No matter how dark the tunnel may be there is always a light at the end. You can move on, it will be very difficult, but I promise you, if I can do it you can to. There is help out there for you. There are many domestic violence shelters and agencies that are more than willing to help out survivors with legal help or any other assistance needed. Lastly, if you are a survivor I encourage you whether or not you think you need it to seek counseling of some sort. I knew that I had been experiencing some stress and anxiety from this relationship but it was not until seeking counseling that I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I had never imagined that was what was going on but now that I know I have been able to treat this disorder.
If you take anything away from this post please take this: Domestic Violence can happen to any type of person whether they are educated or not, young or old. Most importantly know there is hope not matter how negative your situation may be.