I remember being married to my ex. He was a drug addict that became, very abusive, unbeknownst to me, much like another story posted here. I am a journalist student. Before it ended, my oldest son was only 4, yelling at him to, "not hit my momma!" I pushed my son into the living room to keep him from being struck from a hammer that my ex was trying to use silence him. After such a dreadful night, nothing else seemed to affect me as much until I found out that he had sexually abused my older two boys. It is hard to forgive yourself when others, especially your children, are violated.