Get emergency numbers stashed into your shoe soles, look for pay phones around you, keep change to make calls, get the 1800 DV hotline numbers- see if there are shelters that will take you. Find safe housing, flee with your kids, file an emergency order of protection WHERE YOU FIND SAFETY AND SHELTER immediately, immediately. make sure you have all personal documents you'll need for yourself and your children-- even school records, doc records immunizations. get psycho/emotional help from DV staff over other professionals as all this can be used against you regardless if the info is in your favor. attorneys and judges dont read your records, you are crazy or not. the court system requires money... you'll need an attorney to represent you at your initial hearing...hearing not first filing. start stashing documents underneath car carpets, in a friend's house, get a back up phone that is turned off so a signal can't be traced by those IT savy abusers. i fled, as a last stitch effort, out of state and just "won" jurisdiction. we have yet to hit a child custody order. my order of protection had modifications to protect my kids from him, to prevent visitation, etc... you will need these "reliefs" requested upon your first filing. once you're out... fight for free legal help dont give up even though it feels like no one cares. ((for your kids... change scents you use, adapt routines that increase safety for them, like sleeping with them, make a schedule lil things for them to count on... don't lie to them. the truth is abusers win 40-70percent of custody, either joint or sole custody whenever DV is identified as a factor in a case. this is fact. they have to know that if you were to die tomorrow, they go home to daddy. start your safety planning now, even if you feel you will never get courage to leave. for me, the day I chose to leave was in my heart, the only day. i didn't plan it, unconsciously, i prepared. Creator did the rest for me. Keep praying praying praying...
May 24, 2013
its a way out legally by: Anonymous
RI too suffer from domestic abuse and survive my ex would also tell me the same, that he would take my child always and use my mental health to take her. I found out by a friend that even with bipolar disorder a women or men is more then capable of taking care of a child even with anxiety or depression. Legally you are able to care for your children if your on any medication it's good to say your taking them. Seek counseling if it's possible. You are capable of taking care of your children and under the core room he doesn't stand a chase. Some times you don't even have to go into the same room as your abuser. You just have to speak up so they can help you. Legally, you and your children deserve to feel safe and free no one deserves to be abused. You've done nothing wrong. I hope this helps you or any one. Hopefully, I wasn't to late. May God be with you through out it all.
Feb 22, 2013
I would also love advice on this for AUS by: Anonymous
I don't have any advice, but would be interested in any advice you do get. I to have bipolar and since the domestic violence started I have also been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. My partner threatens to take the children if I leave, and that he will use my bipolar issue and says that I am mentally unstable because of it. I know this is untrue because I am the full time care giver of all of my children (I have 3 to a previous partner and 2 to him). Lately he has gone further to say that not only will he take his 2, but he will tell my ex lies so that I will lose the other 3 also.
Jan 08, 2013
Help is on the way by: Anonymous
I was in a situation such as yours, and I suffered for 9 years. One day I woke up and said I will not be in bondage no more. I secretly found a place in another state which he did not know where I lived. You have to be careful or even go to a shelter that will not disclose anything. Once my girlfriend told me to look in the mirror and find that woman who you once were. I could not see what she was talking about at first, but then i found the beautiful person that she was talking about. I won't and will not allow anyone to step over my boundaries anymore. We give men (people) too much power over us. God only has power and wants us to live a better life. You have to go in hiding and leave for your safety and seek legal counseling. God does not want to be harmed or belittled by anyone. In the bible it states, that Women are more precious than rubies and YOU are. Value yourself and your children. It's not easy at first but trust me, it will get better for you and your children. Two years later, God sent me a real man that cherishes me and my children. It has been 12 years and I have never been happier. Free yourself and be happy. Go to God and He will direct your path.