Get Out At The First Punch

by lucid-lollypop
(UK)

I met him in college. At first he was sweet, the best boyfriend I could ask for. We were 17. The physical abuse didn't start until years later. He hated fighting. He would never be aggressive to any one, except for me. It started without reason. He'd misunderstood what I'd said. He thought I was using slang when talking about a man I'd met recently. He assumed I'd been sexual with him. He came running at me in front of our young baby. He pushed me into a corner, the baby was watching. He broke my ribs, and damaged my organs.

He physically, sexually and emotionally abused me and blamed me. I actually believed him.

It was the first time anything like that had happened to me. I was scared. He kept telling me to stand up, or he'd kick me. Then he'd drag me up just to put me down again. He was much bigger than me. The first time I was telling myself that I would be that angry if I thought he was cheating, but it soon didn't become about the mistake. He pushed aside the mistake and said it was my fault for even speaking to another man.

After that he watched me none stop around the clock. I'd had an operation to give birth to my baby and he would punch me where it was tender. I don't know why I didn't leave. It really did all feel like my fault. I couldn't go the hospital because I would have to leave my daughter there. I couldn't tell the police, there were things going on that could have made it worse with police involvement. I had every hope that he would change. I didn't tell anyone just in case they removed him from my life. I should have told him to leave from the first punch. I'd say that at the first sign of violence you should get out of that relationship. Once they hit you, they'll do it again.