First Hint of Purposeful Hurt - Leave and Never Look Back

My story started in a very innocent way. I had no clue, I had been chosen for fate he sealed for me.

I was nineteen. He was twenty-six and married. He had seen me when I was a little girl and saw my senior picture at a relative’s house. so he decided he wanted to see how I turned out. I was very shy and nerdy, but pretty so I was easy prey, or so he thought. In reality I was a babe in arms when it came to the male gender and didn't even realize he came on to me. He left without getting me to fall for him. He waited for time while he ran every skirt he could find which caused him a wife and family. Five years later after a failed engagement, I ran to my relative's home to mend my feelings and he appears on the scene, (quite by accident) or so it seemed. He was very charismatic and I fell big time. He was so kind to me when I needed it most and I fell for him. After a couple of months he broke up with me.

I was totally convinced that something was really wrong with me. So I married the first man that would have me. It was not a good marriage but I did my best. It lasted until I needed my husband to sign a consent form for emergency surgery to save my life. He refused to sign it until my doctor explained to my husband that I was dying. If he did not sign the papers then the doctor would bring him up on murder charges. My husband signed and I knew I would divorce him as soon as possible. Again, I was hurt but not devastated. I went to my relative's house to regroup and my abuser made sure he helped me with the details to get my divorce from the man I had been married to for twelve years. I was grateful for the help and after the divorce he hit on me again and we were back together.

This time he was very charming but informed me that he was not going to marry me which wasn't a big deal to me, because I had no desire to be married to anyone. He followed me around just to be there until I became pregnant with his baby. He insisted that I abort our baby. I refused. He became so moody and was taking hits at my self-confidence, so I moved in with my mother and step-father. When it was time for my son to be born, I drove myself to the hospital and had him without his father. That was twenty years ago last Sunday.

The story does not end there. For the next fifteen years after stalking us, destroying cars, houses, and my life, he left me alone. When my son was fifteen he came back into our lives and took complete control until I made him leave after eight months. He has been in and out of my life abusing me until he tried to kill me last December. He hit me so hard I received a concussion that was life threatening. I ran for my life and had him arrested.

Even last night the security light came on and off for most of the night and I heard his footsteps outside my bedroom window. He would have been long gone before the police could get there. I am saving my credibility so when I need the police they will come. By the way, I earned three undergraduate and a master degree while I was raising a daughter from my marriage and my son by him. I own my own home and I make a good living. Still I have been living with a death threat for twenty years that he has every intention of keeping. I am no longer the naive, shy little nineteen year old. I’ve grown into a self-confident, capable adult that could not be molded into someone that he could control.

I now watch my back and make sure I get in before dark every evening. He has a warrant out for his arrest because he broke his bond, but he is very elusive and probably will not get caught so the limits of jurisdiction will elapse and he will become more brazen once again.