Your story rang a familiar tune for me. I went through a very similar situation, except in my story, it was completely random. He would go for weeks without touching me, then WHAM! Here we go again. I had no warning signs, but I think that it would have been so much more terrifying if I had known beforehand that it was going to happen. I have been free of my tormentor for five years, and I still jump if someone moves too quickly or if there is yelling. I still remember every punch and every kick like it just happened. I am not sure if that is something that will ever go away. I am just happy that it isn't happening anymore. I have been blessed with an amazing man who couldn't harm a fly. He has helped to heal the broken parts of me, but the damage my ex caused to my spirit may never go away completely. Keep your head up, it does get better. Believe it or not, every day you're away is a day that is good for your soul. I hope you find the parts of you that you feel are gone forever. You may never be the same, but you are alive, and you are free...
Mar 06, 2013
experiences... by: Anonymous
Thank you for the story! I too am a survivor of domestic violence, but I left the first time it happened - then he went to jail got out of jail after 3 months Then we slowly got back together from a promise that the counseling had helped and he had recognized his wrong doings Little did I know that the ugly side of him would return 1.5 years later,here I am again in the system fighting for my rights and him now not even attending court dates and not knowing where he is and facing the possibility of deportation because of it. The funny thing is I knew it was possible for it to happen again as I work in the social work field and sometimes I blame myself because I knew the signs and did not pay attention to my bells and whistles. I feel like others blame me as well. I have put my family and friends through hell and do not trust my instincts to much at the moment. I know it will get better and eventually want to specialize in domestic counseling to help other women who are where I was and to offer hope that it does get better. My word I would tattoo is Freedom because even with all the ups and downs freedom for me is a beautiful thing. I wake up everyday feeling grateful I am alive as he could had killed me the second time by hanging me over our patio maybe 20 feet high from the ground. My kids appreciate my courage and tell me I am an inspiration to them. I would say the greatest sense of freedom is knowing that they see me this way instead of the weak woman I felt I was. I am also putting together a blog but have been told it is best to wait until our trial is over. Another "wait" thing depending on when court is over. I have been hit with many things with this thinking lately. solider for me has new meaning.
Feb 23, 2013
DV isn't always what you think it is .. by: Anonymous
As much as I would like to sympathize with anyone who has suffered from ANY form of abuse, I have to speak from the other side of this ...
My alcoholic ex wife, in an attempt to gain leverage in our family law case, decided that claiming domestic violence would bolster her case.
I had my kids taken away, spent 90 days in County Jail, lost EVERYTHING I had ever owned, lost my career. She would follow me around town, snapping photos of me -- claiming that was me "stalking" her. She claimed I had guns, kidnapped my kids, you name it.
My ex wife is a brutal drunk -- Child protective Services investigated her 5 times, she was arrested for DUI, there were multiple Domestic Violence reports filed against her, and she had multiple stints in rehab.
Yet.. I was the bad guy because she knew how to fill out the forms and say the right things to the police / judge.
It wasn't until my ex ended up at the Betty Ford Center (for an extended stay) that her whole fabricated strategy began to unravel. I was reunited with my kids (after 20 months !!), but I am still on felony probation, and still cannot get my career on track.
I am considering legal action against her, but at what cost ?? Does this really set the best example for my kids moving forward ? I don't really know.
I guess you could say this is a sensitive issue, kind of a "slippery slope"..
I would welcome anybody to comment on any if this ...if they are so inclined.