You are not alone, and please don't feel guilty. I am so sorry for your loss but we humans or some of us actually have hearts and feelings that we can't control... Love has it'd way of blinding us and crippling us. You did what the lord put us here for but it takes two so no matter what or how you did it that man would have had to have it in his own heart to see. You still have plenty of time to make it better than ever! When one door closes another is waiting to be opened and you are your own proof that there is hope. Stay strong and know we all have a destiny, life's lessons prepare us to reach them.